Breaking News: The Elder Scrolls VI Releases When Humanity Earns It

In a surprising revelation, our lord and savior Todd Howard has graced us with his angelic voice, declaring that humanity must earn his favor if we ever want to play The Elder Scrolls VI. His luminous presence appeared on a two-minute live stream, claiming that since Skyrim was released, we have all disappointed him. In order for him to release his gift to us, we must praise him, both morning and night.

If his demands aren't met, then we may never get to experience his love child of almost 15 years! The people have heard his demands and immediately started uploading videos of them bowing and praying to the once-mortal developer.

Following the mass upload of videos, a subset of the community calling themselves “The Todders” declared that they have put a bounty on anyone they suspect of refusing to praise their leader. The other half of the community has declared him a false prophet, citing the lack of evidence that the game even exists. They have begun their own hunt for any indication that the game is more than a teaser trailer from 2018!

The outcome of this divide in the community has shaken the industry as a whole. The Lord Howard has claimed he will be making a worldwide debut of The Elder Scrolls VI, live on every screen. This is a mandatory announcement, whether you want to see it or not. We are all under his control!

I’m Freddie Feralli, and this has been your VHS News!